How To Deal With Difficult Wedding Guests

Bride in red

You have found the person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life and you feel like the luckiest person in the world. Your skin is glowing and you look absolutely ravishing. This is how you have always envisioned your wedding to be like. Then IT happens. The wedding guest from hell. Horror of horrors! What's supposed to be your happiest day is turning out to be a total nightmare!

sound Don't turn into Bridezilla...yet! We are here to save your wedding day.

The Uninvited Guest A long lost cousin you bumped into gushes excitedly about your upcoming nuptials, leaving you no choice but to pretend that her invitation is on the way. Or that weird ex-schoolmate who announces that he's going to bring his girlfriend-of-the-week to your wedding? And then there are those phone calls you have to field from an invited guest asking, "I noticed that my sweet little Olivia wasn't included on the invite. Surely that was an oversight?". Worse still, what if they turn up unannounced, ala the movie "Gatecrashers"?

How awkward! To turn them down politely, say something along the lines of, "Oh, we'd love to have so and so, but ..", at this point, pretend the telephone line is very bad and get mysteriously cut off. If that doesn't work, gush about their "glamorous" teenage photos from the 80s, spotting electrocuted hairstyles and shoulder pads bigger than those on rugby quarterbacks. Let them know how excited you are to share these pics on the slide show at the wedding reception. If all else fails, hire scary-looking security personnel at the door. Make sure their necks are as big as tree trunks. It will be fun if these gatecrashers try getting past the door.

Funny Drunk The Drunk Guest We've all been witness to guests trying to impersonate the Monkey God at wedding receptions. While they may be highly entertaining, it may turn ugly if things get out of hand (especially if that person is an ex you dumped for your husband or wife). If you notice a guest drinking too much or know beforehand a relative that's a little too fond of the juice, ask your bridesmaids or groomsmen to take turns chatting with the fascinating bugger whenever he or she picks up a drink. Sense an inkling of resistance from your brothers or sisters? Ply them with drinks first.

Funny Kid The Children Aren't they cute, these little rasca, erm, children, with their innocent eyes? They're not so cute, though, when they're turning blue while screaming their heads off, almost giving your sweet grandmother (bless her) a heart attack just when you're about to have your first dance as newlyweds.

If you are one of those couples who don't wish to have rascals, sorry, I mean children, attend the wedding and reception, state so clearly on the invitation. The customary way of handling the situation is through careful addressing of wedding invitations. If a person receives a wedding invitation addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe", it is understood that little John Doe is not invited. Send your invitations far enough in advance of your wedding date so that parents have time to arrange for a sitter if they wish to attend.

Have a happy histrionics-free wedding!